The Incredibles

A few days ago when I mentioned I was going upstairs to "work on my blog", my hubby joked that I used my blog to "exploit my children."  The fact of the matter is, I certainly don't intend to "exploit" my children - however, I do find that my boys (and any children for that matter) are euphoric.  Their imagination, honesty, sincerity and pure innocence bring me to a happy place where everything else sort of disappears.  So, if you ask me, its fitting that I use my children as a reason to blog because the posts that they help me write make me (and hopefully anyone else who reads them) elated.

I was reminded of a child's innocence and the euphoria they bring this week when my husband and I faced a a difficult time as we mourned the loss of my Uncle Ron.  I don't know that I struggled with bringing Tommy and Luke to celebrate my uncle's life and to say our final good-bye at the funeral home, but I struggled with how to explain that Uncle Ron now walked with God in Heaven.  I have to admit, Paul did much better with this than I did.  I wasn't sure what to say or do.  But together, as a family, we walked to the casket, knelt, folded our hands and we prayed.  Tommy wasn't afraid and didn't ask a lot of questions; he simply told us that Uncle Ron was sleeping.  Paul and I couldn't help but smile at his honesty and his innocence.  His folded little hands and sweet little words were appropriately euphoric.

Tommy loves his Super Heros - from Batman to Spiderman and all the others in between.  Batman isn't perfect in the least.  He comes from a troubled childhood where he lost his parents at a young age.  During his transformation to the amazing Spiderman, Peter Parker was mean and greedy.  Perfect? Not a chance. Though they have their flaws, somehow, these people are still named Super Heros.  With the passing of my uncle, the boys were also able to meet many, many, many relatives and friends and we were all fortunate to reunite as a family.  Again, thanks to my boys, I got to thinking about our family.  Much like the Super Heros that Tommy loves so much, in our family we all have our faults and imperfections; but we see past what we can, help mend what we need to and love each other for who we are.  So is it possible that we are all Super Heros somehow, someway to someone?  I say absolutely - our family - immediate, extended and by marriage is filled with Super Heros with super qualities.  We are THE INCREDIBLES.

The truth is, while it was difficult to face the reality of explaining death to our little boy, it was important for him to be there.  It was important for him to be around the super strength of our family of INCREDIBLES and to feel the love and support that poured out of the funeral home that day.  And just as it was important for our boys to be a part of this reality, it was equally as important for our family and friends to see the boys that day because just for a moment when they saw their faces or caught a smile, they could forget about their sorrow and their grief and feel that complete euphoria that little kids bring!

***May God Bless my INCREDIBLE Uncle Ron Cowoski as he watches over us from Heaven.***  

Uncle Ron with his "INCREDIBLES"

Our Year of Luke

When the words “induction” came out of Dr. I’s mouth at my 38 week appointment, I couldn’t believe my ears.  Since Week 35’s internal exam found me 2-3cm dilated and 60% effaced, it was thought that there was no way I would make it to my due date, 4/16/13.  Baby Pavicic #2 had other plans though and one day I will have to thank him…let me explain why.

38 weeks & 1 day Pregnant - 11 days before delivery!

After my 39 week appointment found me still at 4cm and 100% effaced, Paul and I decided that we would go through with Dr. I’s proposed induction and welcome our sweet baby into the world.  Though I had SWORN not to be induced (since I had taken medication for 20 weeks to ward off labor), the ability to have a “plan” for Tommy, my own wonderful doctor on call to deliver my baby and to not have to face the unknown of the onset of labor, were all reason enough to schedule.  So, at 39 weeks and 5 days, per our scheduled date and 8am time slot, we made our way to Hillcrest Hospital to watch our family grow by two feet!

Together, my hubby and I walked down the corridor carrying a few small bags.  We were greeted at the front desk by Dr. I himself and he quickly turned us over to my nurse (who I didn’t know would be so amazing yet), Karen.  She walked us to our delivery room, gave me a few instructions and was out of the room before I could blink my eyes.  While I had barely slept the night before because I was so anxious, I still managed to shower, put some make-up on and semi-style my hair.  My make-up didn’t stay on for long because just as the nurse left the room, the reality hit and the tears streamed down my face.  I was nervous for the labor to begin and even more nervous to interrupt our seemingly perfect family with the addition of someone new.  Paul hugged me, and tight, just what I needed.  I wiped away the tears, put a smile on my face and changed into my gown.  It knew it was go time.

At 8:30, dressed in his jeans, Dr. I came into the room and discussed the plan for the day.  He would break my water, start the Pitocin and we would wait for Baby Pavicic #2 to arrive.  Before he could do anything, my lovely nurse drew a few tubes of blood, hooked me up to the IV and got me started.  By 9am, Dr. I decided to break my water and begin the Pitocin.  I was feeling fine – a few contractions here and there – and so around 10am Paul left to get some food.  The delivery room only allowed for two visitors at a time (and this was a fairly strict policy) and so while he was gone my mom and sister (whom I probably scarred for life) sat with me to keep me company.  By 10:30am the contractions were coming on strong.  I breathed through them, but they hurt.  And they hurt bad.  At 10:40am I was calling on my nurse for the epidural and through gritted teeth, angrily asking where my husband was.  I will never forget my nurse telling me that it was a good idea to “get the epidural early.”  I thought for certain this meant I was in for a long day.

Paul didn’t make it back before the anesthesiologist came to administer the epidural.  Again, this hurt.  And this hurt bad.  My nurse was my saving grace talking me through each contraction, taking my mind off of the pain.  However, even with the epidural, the pain was not going away on my right side.  So, by 11:30am, the anesthesiologist was back in the room adjusting the catheter and by 11:50am I was finally able to ask for a popsicle.  Nurse Karen said she’d give me a little more time to make sure that I was pain free before internally checking on my progression.  So, at 12:00pm, she examined me to find that I was, in her words, “Ten Plus” centimeters dilated and it was time to push.  I was shocked.

By 12:10pm, Dr. Iafelice was back in the room.  I remember him checking my cervix and saying, “Ok, I think we can do this.  Let’s have you push.”   I stared up at Paul, not sure what to think or what to do.  I couldn’t feel a thing.  Was he sure that it was time to deliver this baby?  I suppose it was because on the  cue of him and nurse Karen, as a contraction came, I pushed…twice.   And Paul announced the arrival of our sweet baby, Luke Parnell, into the world.  After roughly 3 ½ hours of labor, on April 14, 2013, born at 12:26pm, clocking in at 8 lbs, 3 oz and 19 ½ inches long, another Pavicic man stole my heart!  And so as the Catholic Church is in its Year of Luke…the Pavicic Family begins OUR year of Luke.

I Believe in Miracles

Nearly three weeks ago at 35 weeks and three days pregnant, I went in to see Dr. I for my first official internal exam and my last injection of Makena.  Lo and behold, the exam found me at 2-3cm dilated and 60% effaced.  Dr. I was shocked at the progress and suggested that should there be any future pregnancies, the Makena injection is a must.  It had done such an amazing job warding off pre-term labor for 35 weeks.  He was convinced that labor was imminent in the next one-two weeks.  Here we are, working on three weeks later and my latest exams have found me a solid 3cm dilated and 80% effaced.  Baby Pavicic #2 is seemingly quite comfortable in utero and there have been no signs of labor so far.  Perhaps s/he will shock everyone and arrive on his/her due date (4/16/13) after all.

Getting to this point, (38 weeks tomorrow - Miracles CAN happen!!!) has stirred a wealth of emotions.  For 37 weeks, I rubbed my belly and told my precious child that s/he should stay put for as long as possible.  I received 20 injections, called the doctor's office about every possible ache or pain, given up a lot of responsibilities to my husband since I promised to rest, gone to bed at 9:00 p.m. and woken up every morning and wondered, IS TODAY THE DAY?  Every day was filled with worry, anxiety and anticipation that Baby Pavicic #2 may make an appearance sooner than we hoped for.

There has been quite a shift in mind set the past week...and it hasn't been easy.  To simply make the shift from worry to excitement almost in the blink of an eye has been difficult.  I am now allowed to ENCOURAGE the arrival of this little bundle of joy.  I am supposed to take any ache or pain in stride and remind myself that its my body's way of preparing to deliver.  The signs I looked for and worried about with pre-term labor, I am now supposed to look for and be happy about because labor is near!  I haven't completely given up the help of my husband (I've decided I'll always need that), but I do find myself staying up later than usual and doing more than I've done the past few months.  And yet still, I wake up every morning and wonder, IS TODAY THE DAY?  My days now are filled with excitement, relaxation and the natural anticipation that Baby Pavicic #2 may soon get to meet his/her awesome big brother, Tommy.

Last Easter by himself before he becomes a big BROTHER

Since I was expecting to go into labor much sooner, the nursery has been completed, clothes are washed and put away, the car seat is assembled and the hospital bags are packed.  And now, the only thing left to do is spend what precious time I have left soaking up the seconds, minutes, hours and days of being JUST Tommy's Mommy.  This week Tommy and I have plans for relaxation, lots of play time and even a special date to the Cleveland Metroparks Rainforest during my time off from school.  The longer Baby Pavicic #2 hangs out, the more time I get to spend spoiling my little boy and reminding him how much I love him.

A Glimpse of Baby's Nursery

While the past nine months have been anything but easy, I feel grateful to have the opportunity to carry this child and to be able to give Tommy a sibling, a play mate, a best friend.  I am thankful for the support of our families, my MANY amazing friends who have followed me, listened to me and advised me and of course, my unbelievable husband for his calm and collected nature and the evident love that he has for me, Tommy and Baby Pavicic #2.  I look forward to welcoming this new baby into our lives and to making our family complete.

Tommy & Daddy on Easter

  

Celebrating 30 Weeks and the Success of Makena

I should be doing a million other things right now…like working on my graduate course, laundry, cleaning, preparing for my substitute or maybe evening sleeping, but today I feel elated because I can finally count on one hand the number of Makena injections that I have to get – FIVE!

18 weeks ago my doctor sat down with me to share in the joy of my second pregnancy AND to lay everything out on the line.  Last pregnancy, when Tommy tried to grace us with his presence at 31 weeks, we were terrified.  Although the labor was stopped and through bed rest and medication we were able to deliver a healthy, beautiful baby boy at 37 weeks, the doc made it clear that precautions would need to be taken during this pregnancy.  This is when he suggested the Makena injection – a hydroxyprogesterone hormone injection that is given in the hip once a week beginning around week 16 and lasting through (up to) week 37.  The injection can only be given if you have had a previous spontaneous pre-term labor and/or birth and will not work if you are having multiples.  I was a seemingly good candidate.

Since we met at the 12 week mark, I had some time to make my decision about this injection.  I attempted to do my research, but information was difficult to find.  This is still a relatively new drug on the market and the statistics didn't do much for me.  It was hard to know the variables, the control, etc from a document (or maybe I didn't know how to read it) – so I turned to blogs, comments, and any other forums I could find.  Not many things turned up, but I decided to stop reading what I did find.  Some women complained of serious pain during the injection and after, headaches, bad acne, severe mood swings, difficulty walking…to name a few.  All of which did not sound appealing to me.

Selfishly, I toyed with the idea of passing up the injection.  None of these side effects seemed desirable, the anticipated cost of the Makena drug was outrageous and some statistics showed miscarriages and still births at a higher percentage when receiving the shot rather than not.  Luckily, the mom in me won the mental debate with my wimpy self and I decided to suck it up and receive the injection.

After 14 weeks of injections, I can tell you this…

The pain in not unbearable.  Is it fun?  Absolutely not.  While receiving the injection, I often feel a burning pain in the hip and down the leg.  The shot does take a good 30 seconds to 1 minute to administer because it is viscous.  But once you've been poked, you feel the burning and before you know it the band-aid is being applied.

After the shot, I notice my hip is a little sore.  There are nights when I have to gingerly sleep on that side – and I usually chose the other side to start out.  Sometimes, I get a bruise and a small (small as in the size of the eraser on a pencil) bump that is hard and lasts until the next injection.  If I push on the injection site its sore – but why push on it?  I don’t need to.  J

The day after (or sometimes a day or two later), I notice I can be extra hormonal.  Silly things make me cry or stupid things make me angry.  Sometimes, I cry for no reason.  Although I blame it on the shot, many pregnant women could say they act the same way without an injection. 

And lastly, the most aggravating of all the side effects is the inconvenience of the shot.  It’s preferred that the shot is administered on the same day every week (unless I have an appointment scheduled – then I just go on that day).  And in order to get the shot, a doctor has to be in the office.  The latest appointment I can book is at 3:00 – which means arranging to leave early from work once a week to receive the injection. 

At the 30 week mark (another reason to celebrate), I can say without batting an eye that I would hands down, recommend this injection to any mother to be who has had a spontaneous pre-term labor/birth.  The side effects (for me were few) and the aggravation of receiving the injection are minor sacrifices to protect this little angel growing in my belly!  Although I still have ten more weeks to go (and a lot to do to prepare for this baby), today I celebrate the success of 14 shots and 14 weeks of strength.  With the support of my family, friends, co-workers and the amazing office staff at the Cleveland Clinic (Willoughby Hills), I feel so good where I am today!

Here’s to 10 more healthy weeks of growing our new addition and spending time with my precious Pavicic boys...